The mind of a modern, plugged-in teen girl is filled with constant information and persuasion: the scrolling, the posting, the liking, the commenting, the imagery, the photoshopping, the sexuality, the advertisements, and the pressure.
Amidst this world of confusion, consumerism, stress, and perversion, daughters need their parents’ voices more than ever.
Our daughters (I have three of them), need us adults to teach them wisdom, self-control, goodness, self-esteem, and identity.
Parents are teachers. We use our voices for many reasons—and here are SEVEN TRUTHS our teen daughters need to hear from us.
(Click HERE to read “7 Things EVERY Teen Guy Needs to Hear From His Parents.”)
#1. You are not in competition with other girls
One of the common themes of teen media is that other girls are threats, enemies and competitors. And the message is that to win this competition, our girls must be prettier, skinnier, cooler, and/or meaner. As parents, let us relieve them of this false belief and guide them into freedom, confidence and love of mankind. “Daughter, you are worthy. You don’t need to be better or prettier or smarter or cooler than anyone. You are perfectly you.”
#2. You are brave and powerful
Yes, the world can be a scary place sometimes. Especially for young girls (and their parents)! But instead of teaching our daughters to be scared or anxious, we need to train our girls to be brave and wise. Our girls have amazing strength inside of them. It’s a parent’s job to help them to see this strength and to empower them to unleash it into their world—for good! “Yes, go to the mall with your friends. You are brave and strong and tough and powerful and can do this!”
#3. Your body is wonderfully made
Through the LOUD voices of photoshopped models, Hollywood actresses, mean girls, porn-stars, their own friends, and even the negative voice in their own head, girls often hear a message that they aren’t pretty enough, thin enough or perfect enough. A parent’s voice carries weight. (Don’t ever doubt that!) Let our words guide them into self-love and acceptance. If they don’t hear this from us, then where will they learn it?
#4. Be patient with love and romance
Modern media continues to glamorize dating and sexuality. “It’s good to be sexually desired and to have a boyfriend” is the consistent message in movies, Disney shows, apps, pornography, memes, magazines, and ads. As parents, we need to teach our girls the wisdom of keeping the bar high with romance, but more than that, the beauty of being patient. Patient with their heart, their mind and their sexuality. Again, if parents don’t use their voices in this area, then the media and her friends’ voices will be all she hears.
#5. Inner beauty is true beauty
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.” Every day the media tells our daughters they are not pretty enough. Can that lie be overpowered? Yes! Parents, please use your voice. Your voice is more powerful than the best song, the funniest movie or the coolest celebrity. Don’t forget this.
#6. Neither friends nor boys can make you feel whole
We need to teach our daughters that self-esteem, confidence and wholeness will not come from others. A desire to find wholeness through boys or friends or grades will lead them on a constant pursuit for something that doesn’t exist.
#7. The purpose of life is love and loving others
Family. Friends. Community. Faith. People. Goodness. Purpose. Love. These are the things that matter. The best way for parents to teach this to our daughters is to model it in our everyday lives.
Click HERE to read “7 Things EVERY Teen Guy Needs to Hear From His Parents.”
How we help teens and parents:
Sean Donohue Family Coaching provides coaching and mentoring to hurting and defiant teenagers, and we show parents how to restore love, order and communication to their family.
If your family is hurting or struggling with communication or defiance, we would love to partner with you and help you to restore love and communication in your home. We come to you. We don’t want or need “an office.” We connect with teens while doing activities they enjoy doing and meet with families in their homes.